


Sorcery

by AwkwardBlueFish



Category: Batfamily - Fandom, Batman - Fandom, DC - Fandom, Robin - Fandom
Genre: Bruce's cooking, DamianLovesHisGrandpa2020, Family Bonding, Fluff, Gen, Shit talking Bruce and his cooking, because it's a sentimental being
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardBlueFish/pseuds/AwkwardBlueFish
Summary: After Bruce's dinner surprise Alfred has to sanitize his kitchen. Starting with the dishes. Damian decides to keep him company.
Relationships: Damian Wayne & Alfred Pennyworth
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66
Collections: Damian Loves His Grandpa Challenge 2020





	Sorcery

“Father does not know how to cook, does he Pennyworth?” Damian asks even though it was hardly a question. Last nights dinner surprise said everything about his fathers cooking abilities, or rather, the lack of those abilities.

Damian eyes trail after the moving figure that bustles in the kitchen. A hum leaves the mans throat as Damian attempts to sit on the stool behind the counter gracefully. His attempts fails with his pants catching on the seat, wobbling the stool. Luckily Pennyworth pays no attention as he straightens himself and Damian wonders if the man was doing it on purpose. Either way, his dignity of his height was saved for now.

“No offence to your father young Master Damian, but I’d hardly call his attempt in the kitchen cooking,” Pennyworth finally answers, reaching for a cup full of water left on the bench. He tips the water down the drain, shaking his head before placing it in the warm soapy water in the larger sink.

Damian hides a smirk behind a jumper sleeve as he leans on the palm of his hand, chewing the cloth in his mouth distractedly. His brows furrow and he quickly spits the wet cloth out his mouth, blaming Drake for the habit. Not only is the possibility high for him to receive his fathers cooking skills but he’s already picked up on Drakes disgusting one on sucking on his clothes. He was no infant and yet here he was, scowling and roughly shoving his arm in the hoodie further so his fingers don’t touch the damp cloth sleeve. Disgusting.

“What would you call it then Pennyworth?” Damian interrogates, praying the man didn’t see the action. Drake always got scolded and a slap around the ear and he didn’t wish to have either upon him. Pennyworth had a nasty swing and not only that but it would also be humiliating and degrading to be caught sucking on cloth like a red faced infant that wriggles like a horrendous worm.

After scraping a full plate of fathers lasagna into the bin, Alfred straighten up and drops it in the sink with a small grimace. “I would call it sorcery, young master.” Pennyworth inclines his head at the bubbling water that was slowly becoming green. “Magic maybe.”

An amused smirk twists onto his face. ”I wouldn’t go as far as sorcery but it was definitely inedible. Titus and Jerry eat everything, including grass and one-time Brown’s vomit. As they didn’t come near the table last night, or even sniff Todd’s fork under the table then it must be horrendous.” Damian reports, a swelling of pride in his chest as Pennyworth nods, agreeing with his statement.

“Very true.” Pennyworth murmurs, sliding on this washable gloves so bare skin wouldn’t have to touch what once was clear soapy water. A large bubble in the water shimmers and Damian is far too slow to cover his mouth as it bursts, filling the area with a putrid smell. “And this is why from now on Master Bruce is hereby banned from the kitchen. From any kitchen.”

Damian gags, nostrils flaring as he covers his mouth with his dampish sleeve. “An excellent decision Pennyworth.” Only when the green swirling smoke disperses from the air does he dare lower his sleeve. His nose scrunches as Pennyworth scrubs at the dishes harshly. “And I thought the dining area was bad.”

“The dining area is bad,” Pennyworth drawls, eyes squinting at the wall separating them from said room. “And it would be pristine if those siblings of yours didn’t decide to share their food with the floor.”

“That’s true,” Damian murmurs before a small, satisfied smile flickers onto his lips. “They should’ve done it some other way. Faked sick perhaps. Or even subtly place the food onto a napkin in their lap. Plenty of other way then throwing the food on the floor.”

He didn’t miss Pennyworths small smile, strands of his frail moustache twitching with the small action. “Agreed, young master Damian.”

Comfortable silence twists in the air between them as Damian watches Pennyworth scrub at the dishes his father had used last night. Slowly plates are stacked in the drying rack after being rinsed by running water. Damian eyes the water dripping from them, silently impressed that the dishes were even salvageable after that disaster.

“Pennyworth?” Damian calls, a frown tugging at his lips. Pennyworth hums as Damian unconsciously plays with the white strings attached to his hoodie. “Cooking skills aren’t inherited, are they?”

Pennyworth pauses at that, before chuckling as he pulls the plug. The water twirls down the drain, noisy in the stillness of the home. “No, my dear boy. Those skills are taught and learnt. They are not passed down by your parents or blood.”

Damian sags, relief flooding him as he folds his arms across the bench. “Then would you teach me Pennyworth? I do not wish to be as bad as father. Or Brown or Grayson for that matter.”

Pennyworth inclines his head, a warmer and a larger smile crossing his lips. “Of course my boy. But any sign of sorcery then you’re out.”

Damian couldn’t disagree with that. Especially not when the water going down the drain let out a groan mixed with a screech. “Deal!”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something!


End file.
